I’ve never understood the desire to yell at the internet for liking a thing that you don’t, for reveling in something that you thought was terrible and never want to see again. It seems so simple, just don’t think about it and ignore them right? Don’t rant like a crazy person and harsh the squee.
But then I’d never truly disliked something that went against popular opinion. Sure there were things I was indifferent too or just didn’t get the love or even didn’t like much that everyone else loved (Hello Mad Max: Fury Road, you’re very pretty and so so boring) but the dissenting opinion never bothered me and I’m realizing now that it’s because I didn’t care enough to want to talk about it or to be bothered by the fact that everyone else seemed to see something I didn’t.
And then I saw Captain America: Civil War.
I Did. Not. Like this movie. I’m almost to the point where I want to say I hated the movie. I was so mad afterwards that I sat in my car and cried (which isn’t that remarkable. I have a tendency to cry when I’m angry which completely ruins any angry yelling/faces. It’s a struggle.). I’d been as skeptical as anyone else given Marvel’s recent track record and the complete and utter mess that was Civil War in the comics but enough people had come out of early screenings raving about the movie that I let myself get excited. I thought yes, this will be a proper sequel to The Winter Soldier and not Iron Man 4 and Avengers 3 with a dash of Cap. I can’t wait.
An hour into the movie I was a little bored but still hopeful. An hour and a half in I was starting to get annoyed. Two hours in I wanted to walk out. By the ending credits I was crushed. The wonderful movie people were talking about never happened. And then I got online and saw people on twitter going on and on about wonderful it was and how well the Russo’s managed to make it feel like a Cap movie even with everything else and I just felt this up-swelling of rage in me. I typed out so many tweets in response to the praise. Ranting about how no Civil War was exactly the preachy self-righteous mess Batman vs. Superman was, the only thing it did better was have some likeable characters. How the only reason it flowed better than Age of Ultron was it was only juggling two story lines instead of four. How yes Iron Man was completely overwhelming and the whole movie was everyone responding to his manpain. How you could feel his presence and influence even when he wasn’t on screen because he somehow became the emotional center of a Cap movie. How completely pointless and annoying Spider-Man was. It felt like my anger was taking me over and I was just watching it spread out and want to attack.
I didn’t. For the most part I kept it contained to a few tweets and retreated and tried to think about something else.
But you know what? It’s damn hard. Fighting down that urge to lash out I finally understood why people go on sites and comment on articles about things they didn’t like. Finally got why people pick twitter fights. All that anger? It’s exhausting keeping it inside. It needs somewhere to go and the people who like what you don’t is an easy target for it. It overpowers. There were definitely parts of the movie I liked. Some cute character interaction and funny moments. But that took a back seat.
I didn’t. I texted a friend and ranted at her a bit. I muted some people so I wasn’t getting constant reminders. I watched a few episodes of a show I liked. I wrote a blog post. Because even though I get the other side now I still look at it and shake my head and say no, that’s not who I want to be. I may be an asshole about a lot of things but even that’s just a bit too far for me. People should be able to like (or dislike) what they like without anyone telling them that’s wrong. Just because the anger wants to doesn’t mean you have to listen to it. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.